Saturday, September 22, 2007

Proper T-Shirt Etiquette


For Endurance Planet Podcast Version, click here.

I haven't posted this for a while. I gave it an update:

In the running and triathlete community the wearing of race T-Shirts has become a sign of accomplishment and fashion. Choosing just the right T-Shirt for that special occasion can be a daunting and difficult task. The following guidelines have been compiled (in fun), to help the responsible T-shirt wearer avoid potential embarrassment and/or elevate their perceived status in their athletic community.

This list was formed from using various tri and runners' submissions, and then acquired, edited, exfoliated, and added to by me. You can send any suggestions of yours to me. If they are semi-coherent and not too offensive, I might add them. But then again, I might not.

Note: This is meant to be a tongue-in-cheek review of the sometimes superstitious regard runners and triathletes have for their finisher shirts. My personal view: I don't care if you wear your shirts wrapped around your head in an ever-expanding turban...so please, no nasty-grams back to me on back-channel e-mail. Have fun.

T-Shirt Etiquette Guidelines:
1. A shirt cannot be worn unless the wearer has participated in the event. There is an exception, though: "significant others" and volunteers are exempt.

2. Any race tee, less than a marathon distance, shouldn’t be worn to an ultramarathon event. This goes double for the wearing of sprint-tri shirts to Ironman and Half-Ironman events. It simply doesn’t represent a high enough "cool factor " and sends a red flag regarding your rookiness. It's like taking a knife to a gunfight. It's probably best just to wear a generic name-brand athletic shirt, and go hide in a corner until race time.


3. When you are returning to a race in which you have previously finished, then wear the shirt from the first year you completed the race. Don’t short-change yourself by wearing the shirt from the year before. It doesn’t adequately display the feat of accomplishment or the consummate veteran status that you are due.

4. Never wear a race event shirt for the (same) race you are about to do. Only rookies do this. It displays a total lack of integrity and might put the bad-heebee-jeebee-mojo on you for the race. Wearing a T-shirt of the race, while currently running said race, is discouraged. It’s like being at work and constantly announcing "I’m at work". Besides, you wont have the correct post-race shirt then...unless you like to wear sweaty, pitted-out clothes on a regular basis. If you do, then go back to the swamp, Gomer.

5. Never wear a shirt from a run that you did not finish. To wear a race shirt is to say "I finished it". Exceptions: see guideline #1.

6. A DNF’er may wear a race shirt if... the letters DNF are boldly written on the shirt in question (using a fat Sharpie or a Marks-A-Lot).

7. During a race, the wearing of shirt from a previously completed year is acceptable. Wear the oldest T-shirt you have from that race (see guideline #3). This is probably a good practice because you now have no excuse to drop out since you’ve done it before.

8. If possible, runners should buy significant others T-shirts which can be worn without regard to running the race. (see guide #1). Keep in mind, they support your "running Jones" more than you think. They also have ways of punishing you that you can't even imagine. Or maybe you can.

9. Volunteers have full T-shirt rights and all privileges pertaining thereto. So there. Remember, you can always volunteer for a race and get a shirt. I encourage this as your civil duty to be a member of the running community. Races don't happen without volunteers, folks.

10. No souvenir shirts: therefore, friends or anyone else not associated with the race may not wear a race shirt. If your mom thinks that your Boston shirt is lovely, tell her to QUALIFY for Boston herself, & send in her application early for next year, so she can earn her own shirt. A downside to this: she still has plenty of time to write you out of her will between her training runs for the big race. Note that your mom CAN wear your finisher's shirt under one of these 4 conditions- 1) you still live with your mother; 2) she funded your trip to the race; 3) she recently bailed you out of the slammer; or 4) All of the above. There is an exception to this guideline: (refer to # 1...If you are a "non-traditional family," and your mom actually is your Significant Other).

11. Always wear the race shirt of your last race at the current race’s pre-race briefing. The more recent the race, the better. This is a good conversation starter. However, avoid the tendency to explain how that it was a training run for this, and this is just a training run for the next, etc. It just sounds like your rationalizing mediocre performances. Sometimes it’s best to live in the here and now.

12. Your t-shirt should be kept clean, but dried blood stains are okay, especially if it is a trail race or a particularly tough event. If you're an ultrarunner, you can even leave in mud and grass stains, (and porcupine quills). Not washing-out the skunk scent is pushing the macho thing a bit too far, though.

13. Never wear a T-shirt that vastly out-classes the event you're running. It’s like taking a gun to a knife fight. Or like unleashing an atomic bomb among aboriginal natives. You get the idea.

14. Also: never wear a blatantly prestigious T-shirt downtown or at the mall among non-running ilk. People will just think you have a big head, which you do. You'll also get stupid questions, like, "how long was that marathon?" If it's a shirt to a 50 or 100-miler, they'll think it's a shirt for a cycling event or just think you're totally nuts, which (of course), you probably are.

15. Never, ever, borrow a race finisher's shirt from another runner to wear to an event that you didn't run. If you do, remember that in Dante's Inferno, he wrote about a special Hell for characters such as you; right between Tax Collectors and Lawyers.

16. The Bad Ben Guideline: All children or grandchildren of mine can wear hand-me-down race finisher's shirts for races that I've run in. When they are asked, "did you run in that 100-mile trail race?" They can proudly respond, "no, but my daddy (or grandad) did." If your progeny has put-up with you being an ultrarunner, they have said rights too. If you have completed an Ironman, your kids also have the same rights. They've put up with a lot of crap (or outright neglect) over the years, and deserve to wear them.
Sponsors_Shirt
17. The Bryner Guideline: Never wear a shirt that has more sponsors listed on it than people that ran in the event. (Are you listening, race directors?) A shirt with too many sponsorship logos on it is just plain ugly. If you're a race director, and have scored that many sponsors, how about sharing the wealth? Just give me a call at 555-6565, and ask for "Bad Ben." By the way, you can let ANYONE wear this ugly shirt; non-finishers and distant relatives, alike. If you respect your friends, kids, spouse or mother, though, you won't let any of them wear it. It would serve well as bedding in your kid's gerbil cage.

18. Never wear a shirt that has any sponsors on it that you don't agree with. For instance, if you're a Vegan, you shouldn't wear a shirt that proudly advertises "Omaha Steaks" on it. If you wear this shirt, the "Karma Gremlins" will catch-up with you . I swear that's why I fell and broke my nose in my last 50-mile trail run, or why I had plantar fascitis for most of '99. I never should have ran in the 1998 "Fantastic 4-Miler." Why would they enlist a sponsor from an North Korean land-mine manufacturer, anyway?

19. The Spencer Guideline: If an event is cancelled at the last minute, but the event shirts were already given out, you can't wear the shirt unless you actually ran the race on that day. This means you will have to run your own unsupported event, through snow storms, hurricanes, or whatever lame excuse the Race Organizers came up with for cancelling said event. If you still want to wear the shirt, you have to mark it with a sharpie, "I didn't run this lousy event, and I'm all the better for it, thank you," across the front of it.

20. This next one is a big one, and has something to do with the need for more good taste and asthetics in this sometimes ugly world. Never wear a shirt that is so old, thin, and threadbare that you can see the color of your nipples or chest hair through it. This seems to be just a "guy thing," especially and old-codger-runner-guy thing. Here's the test guys: if you're too scared to machine-wash your 1978 Tab Ten-Miler shirt for fear of it wafting down the drain as meer subatomic particles, then it's probably too transparent to wear in public. If you can (still) remember your great performance at that particular day and you want to save it for posterity, PLEASE have it framed so that you can keep it on the wall of your den or your "I love me" room, and (at least) out of public view. Better yet, have it sewn into a quilt. You can then sit on your couch and read back-copies of Runner's World, cuddled up with your "runner's binky," with a glass of warm milk.

21. By the way, if you don't know what terms like DNF, volunteer, or Significant Other are, then you shouldn't wear any race shirt until you know what they mean, and you shouldn’t have any meaningful relationships, either. You should probably become a hermit and/or New Age "Tantric" runner, sitting at home in the lotus position performing virtual marathons in your mind, while sniffing used GU packets, incense, and patchouli.

T-shirts must be used sensitively. Worn responsibly, they can help expand one's consciousness and immerse you in a great conversation with your running brethren. Worn stupidly, they can cause fright, horror, vacant stares, sprained ankles, and general social unrest. Don't be a "T-shirt Terrorist." Follow proper T-shirt etiquette to do your part for world peace.
___________________________________________
Happy trails,

Bad Ben

425 comments:

1 – 200 of 425   Newer›   Newest»
robtherunner said...

A good reminder to us all.

Dirt Runner said...

A classic that never gets old. Here's a twist from the AT100 shirt on my blog.
http://dirtondirt.blogspot.com/2007/09/bad-bens-post.html

olga said...

Cracked me up laughing:) So, am I allowed to wear Nerds t-shirt you presented?

Ben, aka BadBen said...

Olga,
Yes, because it's not an event shirt.

Ben, aka BadBen said...

Dirt,
You've taken it to a new level.

Dmitri Chechuy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dmitri Chechuy said...

What about a DNS case?
Can I wear a t-shirt from a race I DNSed in, if I write "DNS" just like in DNF's case?
Or it can be worn only inside-out (still with huge "DNS" written all over it)?

davidultra49 said...

Thanks for the comment Ben but aren't you going to be there. Oh and since Eric can't update his entrants list for the race what Nerds are you bringing down that I should be worried about? All of em' right.

Travis said...

well said good sir. you may want to include timed events. For example my last event. I signed up for 12 hours and stopped at a little over 5. I could say that I logged 29.4 miles in 12 hours, but that would be poor form and a relaxation of my runner morals. My Flatlanders shirt has a nice DNF underlined on it. It's a good reminder of defeat and something to chase for next time.

Ben, aka BadBen said...

David,
I won't be running the race, this year. I have something going-on for work until late Friday, and I don't want to wear myself out driving at 3 a.m. (Saturday) to Flatrock, running the race, and then driving back. If I do drive down, it'll be to snap some photos, like last year.

For the race: Worry about Kyle Amos...a lot! Worry about Josh Pool.
Well, hell...worry about any Trail Nerds that show up. I've been feeding them horse meat and gunpowder, just to make them mean.

Happy trails,
Bad Ben

davidultra49 said...

Thanks for the heads up Ben. I prefer Napalm and broken glass though as oppossed to horse meat and gunpowder. Thats what Geronimo ate and look where it got him. See ya there buddy.

Vanilla said...

This is a great post.

"Sherpa" John Lacroix said...

Hmmmm... nothing about see mesh shirts... you know... the "suggestive kind".

I guess I'll continue to wear mine.

Anonymous said...

Great list. My personal pet peeve:
If you got to run Boston because you are a charity runner then you must write "charity runner" on all related merchandise that you get or buy. Advertise you victories not how much money you raised.

Brett S. said...

I'm putting the DNF on my Buckeye 50k shirt when I get home. Its been sitting in my drawer for months becuase I didn't realize I was allowed to wear it. I never thought about adding the DNF note. It will make the shirt even better. Pretty soon everyone will want one of those cool DNF shirts.

Scott Dunlap said...

LOL hilarious! I got busted recently wearing an Oregon Track t-shirt, although I've never run for the Oregon track team. Does that count?

I'm going to write about your post and send some folks your way - hope that's alright.

SD

Anonymous said...

How about this one...Please wear shirts that actually fit. I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself, "Is that woman wearing shorts under there?" If it looks like a mini dress, at least add a belt to complete the outfit.

Eric P. said...

Great post! This brings up a question - I did the Imogene Pass Run in 2006 (which normally goes over the pass from Ouray to Telluride, CO) but because of snow they changed the race to an out and back shorter/easier run that avoided the pass altogether. Can I wear the shirt? It seems dishonest. I haven't worn it yet.

Ben, aka BadBen said...

Eric,
Go ahead and wear it, 'cuz you finished it, dude. The course change was beyond your control.

Happy trails,
Bad Ben

ULTRAILNAKAMAN said...

Fun post, hope we see updates every couple of years.

One exception (MY rule) about not wearing shirts in races that you didn't run: I got hypothermic after hitting some major wall after getting hyponatremic in an Ironman distance triathlon, and so a volunteer gave me an old sweatshirt for some Whale Run up in Fort Bragg that I'd never heard of. I sort of see it as a souvenir trophy of my finishing the race with much difficulty. Especially since they only had XL size of the official finisher's T-shirt since I was the 2nd to last to finish, which sort of pissed me off. Definitely an Ironman is tougher than a little fun run, so I don't feel guilty.

Dmitri, Bad Ben hasn't answered your question about DNS, so I will. I think if you want to be honest, the same rules towards DNF apply to DNS. However, maybe you should take the liberty to make your own rule, and emblazon on an official-looking "WINNER" or "COURSE RECORD HOLDER" on the shirt, since it would be unlikely you'd get busted unless you wore the shirt to next year's race. I won't tell anyone, promise.

ULTRAILNAKAMAN said...

Forgot to ask, is it proper to blow your nose on your shirt while racing, and if so, is it more proper to pull the shirt up by the collar and blow on the inside, or to grab the bottom of the shirt, fold it up and blow there? What does everything thing about this? Or do I blow on my hand and then wipe it off on some canteloupe at the next aid station? I want to do the right thing.

rick said...

This is so brilliant. I have always wondered about people who broke rule #4. Did they not have anything else to wear? Or do they do so many races they want to be remember what event they're doing.
Here, here on #9. Consistently guilty of #14. If I have a good day running I will wear one of my "100" shirts.

Ben, aka BadBen said...

Runner whose name ends in Naka,

"The Tanaka Guideline"...You can blow your nose (or slobber) on any piece of clothing you have, if you're in an ultramarathon or Ironman race. You can even "use" or discharge onto fruit at aid stations or someone else's clothing, if it is a particularly tough course.

Dmitri:
The "Dmitri DNS Guideline"...
If you have already received your event shirt, and don't show up at said event, you can only wear it in public if it is defaced with "DNS" written in bold lettering on the front and back (with a Sharpie or Marks-a-lot). You can also wear the shirt inside-out, if you can't afford felt marking implements.

Naka,
You can borrow a shirt during a race, if it keeps you from freezing to death. Just be sure to wash it thoroughly after the race. Any "residual DNA" of yours left in the shirt will get the "Karma Police" after your sorry (and near-frozen) butt.

Happy trails,
Bad Ben

crowther said...

Good writing, Bad Ben!

The only guideline I can think of that has been omitted thus far is:

If you want to look serious, wear a racing singlet; if you want to look casual, wear a t-shirt. Exception: if you're extremely fast, just wear a singlet. Nobody likes getting clobbered by someone in an old t-shirt, especially someone who tries to pretend that 4:40 pace is no big deal.

Jean said...

Found your blog through Scott Dunlap's site. Fantastic post, Bad Ben!

Regarding #7, I guess I have a different perspective. I always thought I should not wear a shirt from the same race I am participating in (regardless of year) because that would be kind like wearing a shirt to a rock concert featuring the name of the band you are seeing. My understanding is that you always go to a concert wearing a shirt of a different band! :)

ali said...

this is great, I especially like banning shirts that make the world an uglier place

John said...

With all the Dri-Fit shirts being given out at races I think a new rule is in order. If you are not running or doing something althletic you should not be wearing a Dri-Fit shirt.

JK

Ben, aka BadBen said...

Hmmm. Honestly, I was thinking of making a rule that any run of a marathon distance or greater should always offer a "technical" shirt to the entrants...(other race directors take note).
I also think that technical shirts fit and look better, and should be worn regardless of whether you're doing an event or not. It's all about aesthetics and good taste, and making the world a more beautiful place, don't you know.

WynnMan said...

well stated Ben,
I also have a solution to the rule regarding those that accidentally show up with a "lower than ultra distance shirt on; 5k,10k, etc..) bring along a sharpie and just add another zero at the end of the last number and you should be safe (:

Running Jayhawk said...

It's funny cause it's true.

This is quite possibly the most insightful post I've ever read.

Pat said...

Thank God, I don't have to write DFL on my shirts. Oh, wait a second, when the sag wagon picked me up, they took away my shirt too.

seriously, I hate rules, but this post cracked me up.

peter said...

Umm, you need to get a life? Even the good lord only posted ten rules. This post is hilarious. It was a sad day in my life when I finally gave away my "Trees Grow in Brooklyn 1978" t-shirt. That "afraid to wash" thing. But I have every race shirt I ever received, dating back seven years when I started running, except for my first one from nine years ago that I received in a fun run before I started running. (I have scoured the local thrift shops for years trying to find that puppy.) Now I know how to order my wearing of them.

Mike M said...

absolutely brilliant article....keep rambling Ben...

rgds

past60 said...

The only way you should wear a Boston Marathon shirt (or jacket)is if you met the qualifying standard for your age group and completed the marathon. No Will Farrell(2003), charity fund raisers, volunteers, etc. If you can't do the time don't do the "crime".

Coach Spencer said...

Ha! Good read! I had this decision to make about DNFing at Ironman Austria 2003. Came all the way to Austria from North Carolina to do my 3rd Ironman & decided not to finish. I chose not to wear the shirt. Never have worn it.

Ordinarylife said...

What about wearing a Finisher's T-shirt from the year before to supoprt (not run) this year? There were quite a few at Ironman SA this year.

triman said...

How funny, glad you obviously enjoyed the original written back in 2002 for the now defunct triathletes homepage. They just posted it again here:
http://www.tri247.com/article_1530.html

These things run and run!

Carlo said...

Good Job! :)

Anonymous said...

Fantastic article! I was in stiches!

In regards to providing the tech tees, don't forget about women specific shirts. I know we are the minority of participants, but also want to brag about our efforts by wearing a shirt that fits!

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delarich said...

This is genius, and also worringly accurate, good stuff!

Geoff said...

Excellent Job. May I humbly request two changes for version 2.0?

1. All DNF races should be burned.
2. Don't buy the swag for the race before you race.

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now we have guidelines for wearing a tishirt also..lol

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