Saturday, March 21, 2009

Get Over It !

Yes, my spouse and I have filed for divorce with the state of Kansas.

This is our own personal business, no matter how many of you have tried to make it your business, too.

I have always loved being part of a group that has inspired so many to stretch themselves in so many ways. It hurts me that some of you have given me the cold shoulder and shun me in the very group that I founded.

This group is a labor of love. I spend many hours per week on Trail Nerds business... on the web sites, on the trails, and organizing and race directing our races.

Let it be known to the haters out there: I will continue to run and enjoy running and working in the group that I founded.

To the many true friends that sincerely care about me and my happiness, I sincerely thank you (with all of my heart) for your support.

Happy trails,
Ben Holmes


rob horton said...

thanks for your awesome generosity ben. grace upon the next season of your journey.

Brooklyn said...

No sweat, ben. Not all of us are judging you.

DK said...

Sorry to hear the bad news. Always keep your shoes on and keep on going (even through hallucinations). At least that is what you taught me - Best wishes.

Anonymous said...

It was just really good to see you out with the group Saturday morning Ben. I hope this *drama* does not have a negative impact on you running with the group, you're always a wealth of information and good advice.

Kim said...

I just suck and can't keep up with you speedy guys on the trail!

Ohhh yeah-and those damn seed ticks...I don't think I'll ever get Doug out on the trails again!

And I thought this whole divorce crap was so last year...tell those so concerned that next time they do a stream crossing to float down and don't come back!

Best of luck to you and all you do!

olga said...

Do what your heart tells you to.
Like my header says.
Be alive.
And be happy.

shliknik said...

I find it ironic and insulting to hear that people would shun THE main KC Train Nerd from not just any group, but the group that he helped found for personal reasons. I'm very sorry (and surprised) to hear that.

I was (am) always amazed at you being able to organize the nightly runs and direct the ever-growing race series over the years. I know you were happy with seeing it grow, but didn't it get a little out of hand? Meaning...what started as a small group of friends many years back joining each other on the trails grew into a something different (and sometimes not in a good way). When I found/joined your gang back in '05, I was amazed at the closeness and friendship of everyone. It was always the same core group of friends helping the rest clean the trails or finish a big race. After I moved away from KC, the club seemed to grow exponentially...every week a new runner (at different levels from beginner to expert) would join the group. Again, I know you were happy to see the club grow and introduce as many people as possible, but I'm sure it became less personal between the core group.

You know who your friends are and you love trail running. Why don't you take it back to basics and you and your true friends (you know who they are) start again - gather and run for the love of getting exercise in nature.

Ben, aka BadBen said...

Shilnik (Jason),

I've enjoyed seeing the group grow, and I get great personal satisfaction from seeing runners find out about trailrunning, and then watching many of them develop into regular trailrunners and sometimes growing into ultrarunners.

You mentioned that "It was always the same core group of friends helping the rest clean the trails or finish a big race." Things have changed, a little...there are a few new volunteers willing to help. But regarding the background work (for races), it's still the same small core group doing most of the work.

Many of the new members don't have a clue about the work that is involved. And many don't know the history of the Trail Nerds, or how we started (right here in KC). For instance, I was asked recently, "when did you guys split-off from the Tejas Trail Nerds?" Ha!

Yes, I have thought about "taking it back to basics." And years ago, a less "mature" version of me might have gotten mad and shut-off the websites, groupsites, blog, insurance, personal funding, etcetera. And then started anew. I won't do that, much to the chagrin of the haters of the world.

We've got a good thing going. We have some great new leaders within the group. We have trail advocacy goals and sustainability goals, and relationships to other trail advocacy groups. We have new versions of the Nerds in other cities. It's a good thing, and I'm glad that I'm part of it.

shliknik said...

Definitely - you (and everyone who calls themselves a 'nerd') do have a good thing going. It's come too far with the organized races, expanding series, and multiple website just to shut things off. I wasn't suggesting that.

I was only suggesting to take things back in a more personal level by organizing runs w/ the core/original nerds - the people who still stay and clean the trails after a race, who come early and help set up, and who support you now, when you really need them.

The nightly runs you started swill continue and let them. You've inspired enough people to try trail running so I just don't think people will quit. And the keep expanding the series - it's growing every year!

It may be just me, but I keep thinking back to years past when it was the same 4-6 people (at most) showing up for a minus-four degree night run - those people are your friends and truly nerds!

I think you'll love running again when you don't have to worry about giving directions for a run, making sure everyone got back safely or caught up, and the core FRIENDS meeting for a Tuesday night run.

But don't quit the races or series - the Nerds will live on!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Jason. There should be a back to the basics run with just your core group. Those people you call your closest friends. Who have through thick and thin been there from the very begining. Though I've kind of been a loner and gone down my own path. If there was ever a group that I would associate myself with. It would be the Trail Nerds. Its an honor to have you consider me a Trail Nerd. You've done a lot not only for me but the trail running community at large. Theres no place in trail running for overly judgemental people. If they want to sit up on a soap box and throw stones then find another sport. Trail runners. True trail runners are a family of people that support each other. Through the hard times and the good. The decisions one makes in his/her personal live is solely there own and should be respected not criticized. Kudos to you Ben for this post.

Gabe said...

I got your back anytime...

sophianchor said...

Mud U, Bentor. More than all the rocks on the Red Trail.

Sophy Trophy

aka: Bad Ben's Mudbabe

Sam said...

What the hell!
I've been married and divorced three times and still running.
Stuff happens.

Travis said...

No judgments from an insider. If there is anyone who doesn't need to hear some crappy analogy about "finding your own path" or "blazing your own trail," it is you. I have been hitting the trail more and more lately and at some point need to get out with the group so you all can show me how crappy of a runner I really am. I am not afraid to die in a shallow unmarked grave at all! Hope to see you sooner than later.

devin said...

wtf!? what is this, the 1800s? sorry to hear about your divorce, ben, and i can't believe people would give you the cold shoulder...especially among nerds. even though i don't think i could fairly consider myself part of the nerds "core group" during my temporary-turned-into-three-years stay in kc, i find myself really missing the cameraderie of the outdoor community in kc, especially the nerds. you've got a great thing going...and i'm sure i don't need to bother telling you not to let a few narrow-minded people get you down.

Shane"CRASH"Jones said...

The haters do need to get over it.