Thursday, March 15, 2007

I've Fired My Life Coach & Hired a Death Coach

I’ve made a bold move recently. I deep-sixed my New Age “Life Coach” and have hired a Metal/Punk-ish “Death Coach.”

No, it’s not the folkloric Death Coach (cóiste bodhar) of Edinburgh, Scotland...It’s a real person that helps me organize my pre-death existence into “edible chunks” of time, and also advises me on death-changing decisions that could affect my deathstyle.

My Death Coach has also had an affect on my musical tastes of late. Musically, I’ve always had a heavy metal and punk side, but recently I’ve become an avid Dethklock (Metalocalypse) fan. As the lead singer Nathan Explosion from Dethklock says, "Everything metal. Blacker than the blackest black times infinity!" And that is what he says about his coffee!

You know, I’ve always liked wearing black. Did you know that there are 43 shades of black? I’ve always loved coffee, too. Black coffee! My coffee doesn’t need friends! So this is all natural to me…but I’m rambling; so sorry.
Being an ultrarunner and a longtime Dead Runners' Society member has played into this new life/death changing realization, as well. All you have to do is read my last 100-mile race report to realize that.

More on my new deathstyle, later.
Until then, here's Part 1 of Metalocalypse's first episode.



Ben aka "Good Ben" said...

I always suspected you'd turn to an alternative deathstyle! Is the Mrs nervous about you leaving her for a black woman to suit your new "black" fettish?

Ben, aka BadBen said... word verification just came up with the word "qwuat," (which has always been one of my favorite colors).

Good Ben: it's spelled "fetish" and au contraire...I'm not leaving "the Mrs" for a black woman; there's more than enough Bad Ben to go around. Those b*tches can share!

PS: Don't tell b*tch #1 about this post.

WynnMan said...

Whips & chains can't be tamed! You look total metal militia! kick ass. I too agree that elk is some good eats! silly vegans are missing out, as they decapatate lettuce heads, tear skin off poor fruit, and suck the life out of an orange.

carry on wayward son


Travis said...

You should check out "Deathclown Part 1"

Murderface gets introduced to "free ballin" and it changes his life. I dont know if your death coach has mentioned free balling yet, but it makes for less baggage in your deathstyle

Lora said...

I'm.....I'm.....I'm....totally lost here!!

And I think I'll just be happy keeping it that boys continue to play.....lights out by 10 pm tho!