Famous Lies told to Runners at a Race

Over the years I've heard some whoppers from aid station crews, course officials, race directors, and people on the sidelines of a race.
Here are Some Famous Lies told to Runners:

"The finish line is just ahead." - (No way).

"The aid station is just ahead." - (the aid station crew hasn't even set up, yet, or it's 5 miles away).

"Trust me ... this is the last hill." - Translation: 4 more hills.

"It's all downhill from here." "You're almost there." - Translation: 5 more hills.

"Another 100 yards, around the corner, and you are finished...you can turn on the speed, now." - (It's always 1/2 mile to go when they say this).

"You're looking really strong." - (You look like a stumbling, self-flaggelating drunk).

"You're looking good, keep it up." - (You look like total dog shit)

"You are breathing great...you're in a groove." - (You're practically asthmatic, you're caked with dried salt, your face is an almost purple-red, you are slobbering, and you're bleeding from 6 spots on your body when they say this).

"That guy is in your age group! Go get 'em." - (He's actually 10 years younger/older than you, so don't worry your little, mileage-addled brain).

Heard from the finish line of a 10K: "if you can hear my voice, you can still break 40 minutes." - (No frigging way, with just 10 seconds left...don't be a fool, yet again).

"Just an easy 5K to go!" - (usually said by some numb-nuts-non-runner with a bull horn at about Mile 21 of a marathon).

Heard before trail ultra-distance races (many, many times): "The course is well marked..you can't get lost."

Said (incorrectly) at the mile 53 aid station in my last 100-mile trail run: "This container has water, that one has Heed in it...let me fill your water bottle for you." - I almost threw up when I drank it, because Heed was mixed with my sports drink.

...And the biggest whopper that I've ever heard: "Just 1.5 more miles and one major hill to go." - Said at the last aid station at the Superior Trail 50 in 2004...there were actually 3 major hills and 7 miles left to go in a 50-mile race that turned out to be 57 miles long! (We were warned at the start of the race that the new, 2004 course might be slightly long-ish). I still had fun, though, (even though the finish line was not marked and I was lost for 30 minutes trying to find the damn thing).

Can any of you RBFer's share other race lies that you've heard?

Creepy Running Location..."I don't back-in"

Running Quote for the day:
"Battling to maintain the delicate balance between hyperfitness and physical collapse." - Megan Liberman

Last night Caleb, Kyle and I hit the BuRP Trails at Minor Park, for a nice 7-mile run on technical trails. Minor Park is a very interesting place. The dead-end road where we park our cars is unlit and very spooky.

There are 2 kinds of people who park there:
1) People who pull their vehicles into the parking spot front-end first. They consist of runners, hikers, bikers, dog-walkers, and people who go fishing. You know, "normal" people who recreate.
2) The 2nd kind of people who park there, are people who pull their vehicles into the parking spot REAR-END first. These are people who are up to no good. They consist of: A) men trying to meet other men to do strange things in each others cars, and on occasion, B) pot smokers. I have no problem with the pot smokers, but the "Richard" smokers give me the creeps.

When my group of Trail Nerds shows up, the "REAR-END first" crowd tends to scatter like a group of pigeons with a dog running through it. So, contrary to popular belief, I guess we ARE good for the neighborhood. This is the only place where we run that I see this kind of behavior. Every now and then, the KCMO Police Department operates a sting operation there, but they are back at it again, in no time.

I think we will switch our Thursday night runs to WyCo Park for a while, or maybe we should all get bumper stickers that say, "I don't back in" or something. Nah, we will just go to WyCo for a while.

RUNNING PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND:
On Saturday, we will meet for an easy, 5-mile trail run at SM Park. On New Year's Day, a few of us will run a Fat Ass 50-Kilometer trail run at Wallace State Park. It should be good for our 100-mile training to run with only 3 hours of sleep, or so.